Total Drama Pahkitew Island Review 2.0

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YES! Thank you, America, for not giving us a bad ending and making Sky win. I was worried for a while that they would give us that horrible Zoey 2.0 as a winner instead of the amazing Shawn, but thankfully they did the right thing as Italy did. Yes, I knew the entire order the whole time; I just didn't know what they were saying. I'm Italian, but I don't speak Italian. I'm ashamed of myself. Anyway, what can I say? This (shortened) season RULED! I'm sorry if you think I'm crazy, but this is now my newest favorite season. Even over Total Drama Island! This season just had it all. Every single character (even the hated Sugar) was amazing in their own way, not to mention memorable. The challenges were a bit stupid and boring, but episode 10 alone was enough to make up for it. The elimination order was fair and understandable, except for Max and Ella's eliminations. And we got the best winner in the franchise since Owen (possibly Heather as well). I'm going to re-post my thoughts on all the players, because after watching the American version, I do have a few amendments to make. Also, here is now my order of favorite to least favorite of all the Total Drama seasons:

:bulletblack: 6. Total Drama All-Stars :bulletblack:
:bulletred: 5. Total Drama Action :bulletred:
:bulletyellow: 4. Total Drama Revenge Of The Island :bulletyellow:
:bulletgreen: 3. Total Drama World Tour :bulletgreen:
:bulletpurple: 2. Total Drama Island :bulletpurple:
:bulletpurple: 1. Total Drama Pahkitew Island :bulletpurple:

And now, onto my rankings of the characters for a second time:

RANKINGS:

Bullet; Black 14. Sugar Bullet; Black - Oh my God, this bitch was just so god-awful and horrendous. She is such a stuck-up, annoying, rude little (or rather fat) bitch who eats everything in sight. She's basically Owen and LeShawna combined, only a LOT worse. I love Owen, though, and comparing him to Sugar is insulting to Owen. Seriously, not only does Sugar constantly abuse Ella who only wants to be her friend, but she treats Sky like crap, mocks Max all the time, and is so obnoxious and stupid that I couldn't wait until she got what was coming to her. Seriously, how could anyone actually like her? I didn't find one thing she did funny. If you want to call Max annoying, then you're insane. Sugar is the annoying one. God I hated her. She was both annoying and heartless. She tried to be Heather a lot of the time, and it failed. I'm glad she didn't win. She lasted far longer than she should've, though. Jasmine at least deserved 3rd, if not 2nd. Not this bitch.

:bulletred: 13. Dave :bulletred: - This dude is pretty much a combination of Noah and Cameron. Watching the Italian version, I had Dave ranked in my "like" category, because he didn't seem THAT awful. But after watching him in the American version, I can honestly say that he is terrible. GOD was he a whiner. He is SUCH a freaking crybaby and he pissed me off SO much. Everyone who thought Cameron was bad? Ha, you ain't seen nothing yet! Dave does have a few good moments, and he really isn't that bad (at the start), but he's pretty much just here to be the Mike to Sky's Zoey. That's it. It really is sad how the season pretty much just recycled that stupid coupling with Dave and Sky. Once more, he started off the season SO WELL! He had his little OCD thing going on, and was focused on the game and rather smart, but then he just became a tool. A tool that wanted to get into Sky's pants. Dave failed on so many levels, especially him trying to basically KILL Sky and Shawn at the end just for the money. He went from a "normal guy" to a flat-out bastardized monster. I don't find that funny at all.

Bullet; Red 12. Beardo Bullet; Red - What was the point of this guy? Wow what a waste of a character. Even Staci wasn't this useless and stupid. Basically, Beardo is not worth getting to know or care about. He has one shtick, which gets old very fast, and he pretty much does nothing but just annoy everyone else for no good reason whatsoever. Really obnoxious and really stupid. Him making a "cameo" with his beat-box CD was kinda funny, but otherwise...what was there to really LIKE about this guy? Honestly, what? If you liked him, then that's fine. He's not really BAD, but he's just...pointless!

Bullet; Red 11. Samey Bullet; Red - If I had to say a few negative things about this season, this would be one of my biggest disappointments. You know all the hype surrounding the first siblings on the show? Well, those hopes were crushed and buried pretty quickly. Trust me, no matter WHAT dumbass arguments you give, Amy and Samey are nothing special. In fact, they're a huge waste and not at all that likeable. I was so stunned and shocked at just how useless, pointless, and downright stupid they both were. I found Samey worse because she's nothing more than a cliche. She's the victim, she gets back at the bully, and then pretty much has outlived her welcome. That's it. Is that supposed to be a good storyline? Hell no. I get it, Samey is supposed to be likeable and sweet and we're supposed to feel bad for her and happy when she stands up to Amy, but...no. Just didn't work for me at all. Living a lie and basically becoming Amy to get her out...that's not how you show up your sister. That's just heartless.

Bullet; Yellow 10. Amy Bullet; Yellow - I liked Amy, the meaner twin, a little more than Samey. Reason being is at least Amy isn't just flat-out cruel and hateful all the time. She is who she is, and I respect her for that. She doesn't have to be fake, unlike her stupid sister. She does have a pretty amusing grand finale, I'll say that much, so at least she's not terrible. But, again, she and Samey are such disappointments that I was so sad to see them pretty much cast aside very early on. Almost reminded me of Sadie and Katie. Actually, no. Sadie and Katie were BETTER than Amy and Samey. Yes, I said that. If you disagree, then you're an idiot.

Bullet; Yellow 9. Rodney Bullet; Yellow - Admittedly, this dumbass cracked me up a lot. Never expected the big, hulking, southern hick to be such a crybaby Casanova. Seriously, he didn't turn out the way I expected at all. Again, he's funny and gets a few laughs, but really he ends up becoming irrelevant. Nothing too special. Just another throwaway character created for a few cheesy gags. But he just felt so forced. Like...a girl TOUCHES him, and he falls for her? That's...KINDA funny, but seriously? SERIOUSLY? I did like his elimination episode, and he had me laughing a few times with his fights with the mean chicken, but again he was pretty much pointless. Who the hell talks like that, by the way, even when you're nervous about a girl you like? That's just ridiculous.

Bullet; Green 8. Sky Bullet; Green - Yep, that's right, I officially loved eight out of the fourteen characters this season. That's how good it is. Well, I technically loved 10, since I do respect Amy and Rodney, but still. Sky is ranked the lowest because, sadly, she's pretty much a clone of Zoey. Maybe you think differently, but you would be wrong. Yes, you're WRONG. Don't come at me with that "everyone has their own opinion" bullshit. It's a FACT. Just look at the storyline of both Mike/Zoey and Dave/Sky. They're the same damn storyline! I think Sky's a bit better than Zoey, but when you see her encounters with Dave, and you see her in action...she really is so much the same. It's so boring! Sky really is a nice girl and she's pretty badass at times, but she really isn't anything exciting. She's sexy, I'll give her that, but she's nothing special. Honestly, the only reason she's probably ranked right here is BECAUSE she's hot. The second hottest girl this season (after Jasmine). Shallow, but sadly that's all she has going for her.

Bullet; Green 7. Topher Bullet; Green - This dude is pretty hilarious. His shtick is he's a Chris McLean wannabe. The jokes pretty much write themselves. And, for what it's worth, he does his job well. I know he got annoying for some of you, since I know how a lot of you think by this point, but for me he was alright. I like Chris, so I liked Topher. He wasn't all that smart half the time and didn't branch out too much other than just being a Chris knock-off, but he played his part well. And don't lie to me and say you KNEW about the Chris-topher (Christopher) pun right away. It took me a long time to have that pointed out, and I honestly found it hilarious. I really do hope Topher becomes a future host. It would be funny! So, yeah, Topher was fun, just not really amazing like the others above him.

Bullet; Green 6. Scarlett Bullet; Green - Now HERE comes the biggest shocker of the season. If you all thought the geeky girl with glasses was going to be a boring Beth or Cody knock-off, boy oh boy were we all shocked. Granted, before episode 10 (which might be one of my most favorite episodes in the entire franchise), I had Scarlett pretty low. However, what she does in episode 10 just blew my mind. My jaw literally dropped wide open and I was like: "Damn! Did NOT see that coming! Oh my God, this is epic!" Scarlett turns out to be very badass, and I know a lot of you are going to love her. I did, too, for what she turned out to be. But, I just love five people more than her, but yeah she's epic. Some of you prefer her "normal" side compared to her "insane" side, but not me. Her normal side is just an updated version of Beth or Harold. Nothing special. But when she starts to act evil, then goes all-out evil...then she's awesome. Sorry, but that's the truth.

Bullet; Green 5. Leonard Bullet; Green - Ha, this guy is hilarious! Too bad he didn't last long, but for what we DO see, he was very entertaining. At least for me. No, he's not like Cody, Harold or Cameron, okay? He's his own person. He's really silly and downright moronic, but he still made me laugh. Not much to say about him that you already don't know. He's a dude who thinks he's a wizard, and he stays with that persona all the way up to the end. His voice WAS a tad annoying, and he really did push his wizard thing a bit far, but I do respect him for staying with it the entire time. And, hey, if you can get that idiot Sugar to gush over you, then good! The idiot needed something to cheer about, after all. So, I really did love the underdog nut-job Leonard, and I know a lot of people are going to have him low on their lists, and that's fine. I just enjoyed him for what he brought.

:bulletpurple: 4. Ella :bulletpurple: - We're now at my top four favorite characters of the season. Ella started off as a bit of an enigma for me, but she grew on me very quickly. She has a lovely singing voice, and she really is a sweetheart. Granted, she DOES remind us all of the cliche princesses from Disney films, but she really isn't like that. She's not arrogant or obnoxious or stuck-up or anything. She's just a charming, sweet, funny girl. I felt so bad for her, too. In a lot of ways, she does remind me of Dawn, but at the same time not really. Hard to explain. For me, she worked, and I really liked her. What Sugar and Chris did to her was flat-out criminal. Singing (with a nice voice) is NOT a freaking crime. She sang WELL, you assholes! And how dare you treat her like crap when she was the nicest, sweetest, most loving person on the whole damn island! Dammit I was so pissed off when Ella kept getting hurt over and over again, and even when she was unfairly eliminated, she still didn't cry. She went out with a bang. This girl is just amazing. Flat-out amazing.

Bullet; Purple 3. Max Bullet; Purple - Now we come to my top three characters I just adored. We start with Max. Holy hell, I did NOT expect to love this idiot as much as I did. He's pretty much the Scott (from Total Drama All-Stars) of the season. But he's just so over-the-top and hilarious that you really can't take him seriously, which is why he's so awesome. He makes me laugh so many times, and he's just so "evil" and hilarious and just everything that a perfect character is about without taking it too far. He even has an episode where we get to see the softer side of him. Really, we see EVERYTHING from Max. We see him being smart, being stupid, being mean, being nice, being silly, and just being a great Total Drama character. Whoever says he's "annoying" needs to get the stick out of their ass. I MUCH prefer a joke villain like Max than a serious villain like Alejandro. Why? Because Alejandro was the typical cliche villain. The seductive, evil male who does whatever it takes to win in the cliche villainous way with his charms. It's BORING. But with Max...well, yeah. That's why he's so epic. If you disagree, then you are a idiot. Max is amazing. He technically finished in 5th place, so that's not bad. Still unfair how he was eliminated, though.

Bullet; Purple 2. Jasmine Bullet; Purple - I might just have a new favorite female in the series. Sorry, Heather. But, man, this girl is just amazing! First of all, though, you might all be stunned by just how freaking tall she is. Girls are NOT supposed to be that tall! Heck, there's hardly any females in the WNBA for a reason! Holy crap, Jasmine is TALL! But, onto Jasmine herself. She's pretty much Daring Do, but in human form. And that's epic. She's nice, but can be stern. She's romantic, but can always get jealous and angry. She's very athletic and confident, but also has silly fears and worries like a normal human being. She's incredibly hot (yeah, keep calling me racist now, you assholes) and she really symbolizes everything that I want to see in a good female character. See, people? I'm not sexist; I just want females that are GOOD. I don't want females that just so horrifically annoying and insane and downright not believable. Jasmine is incredible and I really, really love her. Not to mention she hooks up with my #1 favorite character of the season. So, yeah, you can tell why I love this season. My #1 and #2 favorite characters hook up. Eat that! It sickens me she finished behind Sugar in the placements on the season, but since Shawn won the season and split the money with her, she's still a winner!

Bullet; Purple 1. Shawn Bullet; Purple - Think Ezekiel, but a little more social and a lot less insane. Don't get me wrong, I still love Ezekiel, but Shawn here is (forgive me for saying this) a massive improvement over him. If Jasmine is like the perfect female character (for me), then Shawn is a lot like the perfect male character. He's funny, but is also very smart. He's insane with his personality, but he still knows when to be serious and get the job done. He's romantic, but is awkward about it in a cute way. He's not that bad-looking (for a dude), he's very talented in challenges and survival, he's really likeable, and he's just so funny. I'm pretty sure he said the word "zombie" over 30 times over the course of the season, and that's not a bad thing. He's so hilarious, eccentric and fun. Easy to say, him and Jasmine make this season epic. Scarlett and Max both play a big role in making it pretty badass as well. For what it's worth, Sugar, Sky and Dave are all pretty important too, in the grand scheme of things, and I'm sure I'm going to hear some of you say you love those three characters. But, for me, Shawn, Jasmine and Max are the three best of the season. Shawn rules! He is easily the best winner in the series, next to Owen and Heather, and I was rooting for him (and Jasmine) the entire freaking time. Thank God he won! Him winning capped off what was an INCREDIBLE season that I had low expectations for, but they really brought it. I was blown away.
© 2014 - 2024 Chimcharlover13
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Mahboi139's avatar
I gotta disagree with you on Scarlett's evil side being a surprise. It was foreshadowed.
That's not a bad thing though. Foreshadowing makes you feel perceptive when you catch the plot-twist before it happens.