Bokkun: Last time, on Total Drama Action: two weird robots in alien costumes and fourteen confused cast members, all mixed up in a cold plated base while trying to find some crazy alien eggs. There was love in the air with the two winners of the challenge, Silver and Blaze, and even though they were told that they were going to have to compete against each other this season, that didn’t stop their lovemaking. Also, there was love with the two voted-off castmates, Sonic and Amy…at least, one-sided love. Jeez, enough with the love already! I want to see some pain instead! Hehe, yeah, you all heard me! If I have anything to say about it, which I do, all the castmates are going to be hurting after today! Stay tuned for a very painful episode of Total…Drama…Action!

*the Total Drama Action theme song plays*

Bokkun snuck into the area with the two trailers, grinning evilly with his microphone in his hand. It wasn’t even six in the morning yet, but he was going to have a little bit of fun while getting up his cast. He blew the air-horn on the megaphone, then screamed at the top of his lungs into it.

“ALL CREW ON SET!” he yelled, “CALL TIME IS FOUR A.M. WITH NO EXCEPTIONS!” Snickering, he kissed his megaphone and looked at the nearest camera. “I just love this thing.”

Tikal: At first, I thought he was talking to the camera crew or something, not us! I was really hoping they’d replace Bokkun with a nicer host this time around. Um…is that mean to say? I’m sorry!

Slowly, all the girls and boys filed out of their trailers, groaning and rubbing their eyes to try and keep awake. The only one who looked thrilled with being up was Cosmo, but then again, she was crazy.

“Omega cannot believe that he is doing another season of this show,” Omega stated, “Being rudely taken out of recharging state and then annoyed…does not compute.”

“This continuing sadistic wake-up call is messing with the natural rhythms of my body clock,” Charmy moaned, nearly bumping into Knuckles from lack of concentration, “My energy is getting totally depleted and destroyed!”

Soon, all the campers lined up in the middle of the trailers and tried to stay awake. Bokkun, annoyed at their complaining, decided to set everyone straight and got stern with everyone.

“This is not playtime, you losers!” he growled, “Today, you’re going to be forced to endure the painful examples of how a real day on the set is like. So, stop your complaining or else it’ll just get worse for you.”

“I once had a job at a castle working with kittens,” Blaze said, rolling her eyes, “They said that it was supposed to be fun and stuff, but then I got a rude wake-up call, just like this one, how my own species isn’t so civilized. Ugh, those ‘litter boxes’ really sickened me out to no end; can’t we cats do our digestive processes civilized or something?”

“Speaking of digestion stuff, it’s time to pick your teams!” Bokkun announced, winking at Blaze, “This is when you get to choose the team that you want to totally stick in the face of your boyfriend!”

“Um…we’re not going to get all competitive and serious about this, are we?” Silver asked, looking at Blaze with a worried expression.

“No way, don’t worry about that!” Blaze purred, smiling back at Silver. The two were sent on either side of the trailers with all the other castmates in the middle.

“Okay, let’s get this bloodbath started,” Bokkun went on, “You’re gonna chose schoolyard style; boy, girl, boy, girl. Ladies first, of course, but since we don’t have any ladies here…Blaze, you can go first. Oh…but since Omega is a robot and we DO have an uneven number, you can consider him either a female or a male, it’s your choice.” Omega glared at Bokkun for that comment, while everyone else simply snickered.  

“Hmm…well…I don’t know,” Blaze sighed, scratching her head, “Um…Knuckles?” As soon as she said Knuckles’ name, the echidna snickered and started heading over to her side. Silver, however, gasped and looked absolutely horrified.

Silver: I can’t believe she just went ahead and chose Knuckles! I mean, they’re kind of alike and now she wants to be on the same team with him? What am I supposed to make of that? You think you know a person…

Angry, Silver glared over at Blaze, but then grinned evilly and looked over at the remaining girls to be chosen. He made two determined fists in his hands and pointed at his first choice.

“I choose…the beautiful Marine!” he announced, pointing to the raccoon.

“Aw, that’s so sweet!” Marine giggled, running to Silver’s side. Now it was Blaze’s turn to look shocked and horrified.

Blaze: The beautiful Marine? What was that all about? Was Silver TRYING to tick me off by picking Marine like that? Seriously, I’m not bothered though…I’m much sexier than that raccoon! But…if that’s so true…why am I feeling so angered right now? Jeez, you think you know a person…

“Humph; since I like to keep things cool, I’m picking Omega,” Blaze sniffed, nodding at the robot.

“Excellent choice, Blaze the cat,” Omega stated, stomping over and nodding at Blaze.

“Oh, you know what would be great?” Marine giggled, looking at Silver as he tried to make his next choice, “Pick Big; he’s such a loving little guy!”

“Big’s not in the game anymore,” Silver sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Seriously?” Marine blinked, “Wow…bummer.”

“I pick Vector,” Silver said, pointing at the crocodile.

“Sure, pick all the good-looking people,” Blaze hissed, “That’ll get you far.” As she said that, both Omega and Knuckles glared at her. Silver, meanwhile, snickered while Vector made his way to the hedgehog’s side.

“It will in show biz, kitty,” he said, winking at her. Blaze rolled her eyes, then looked at the remaining boys.

“I pick Shadow,” she said. Shadow shrugged and made his way to Blaze’s team.

“Well, I pick Tikal,” Silver said next, nodding at the echidna. Tikal smiled politely and made it to Silver’s team. Blaze, now being the only girl, knew she had to pick a female this time. She tapped her chin while looking at the last two girls, Wave and Cosmo. One was crazy, while the other one was seemingly evil.

“Remember the famous saying to keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” Omega whispered to Blaze.

“No…really?” Blaze blinked, looking at Omega, “You don’t mean…” The large robot nodded, so Blaze sighed and gave in. “Fine…we choose…Wave.”

“R-really?!?!” Wave blinked, totally shocked.

Wave: It’s about time they noticed the one with great talent around here.

Silver looked at the last two boys. Tails was busy digging lint out of his belly button and analyzing it on one of his tiny machines. Charmy was trying to do some karate moves to show off, but just ended up tripping and hitting his head.

Silver: Jeez, what was I supposed to do? You have weird and weirder with Tails and Charmy. Well, Tails made it farther last season, so that should count for SOMETHING…plus, he DOES have a big brain, I’ll give him that. I had to pick SOMEONE.

“I pick Tails,” Silver finally gave in. Tails cheered and ran to his side, weakly slapping him a high-five as he did so.

“Uh, hello? Don’t wicked skills count for anything?” Charmy snapped, crossing his arms, “I mean, who else here went to film camp for a month (which ended up with me getting a red rash on my butt)? Who else here was forced to become a junior cinematographer (which I was trained to do by Vector and Espio)? Who else here has thorough knowledge of lighting filters and film stocking and…”

“I pick Charmy!” Blaze yelled out, “If, for no other reason, than to shut him up.”

“Wise choice, Blaze,” Charmy said, trying to sound cool as he floated over to the cat.

“There were no other guys left,” Blaze sniffed, frowning at Charmy.

“Still,” Charmy giggled, floating on past.

“Um…I guess Cosmo’s on my team then,” Silver sighed, “So…Cosmo?” Cosmo crossed her arms and held her head in the air, pretending not to hear Silver.

“She likes to be called ‘Cryoscope’,” Marine whispered to the hedgehog.

“Oh, right,” Silver groaned, “Um…C-Scope?”

“Here!” Cosmo giggled, running over to join Silver’s team, “Hi there!”

“So, now since the teams are chosen, it’s time to give you your names,” Bokkun announced, “Blaze, I hereby dub your team as ‘The Screaming Grippers’! Silver, your team will be ‘The Killer Gaffs’!”

“Gaff? I don’t want to be a gaff!” Tikal cried.

“Oh, please,” Wave growled, rolling her eyes, “It’s not like being called a gripper is something to brag about. It sounds like someone who would put their hand up a girl’s undergarments or something.” From nearby, everyone then heard a loud crash. They all looked and saw Emerl angrily shaking his fist at the castmates after having thrown down a camera he had been using to film everyone.  

“I am highly insulted by that!” he cried, turning away, “I’m sick and tired of getting no respect around here! I’m going to have a serious chat with Doctor Eggman about my paycheck.” He started stomping away, much to everyone’s amusement.

“Okay, since we’re running late now and we don’t seem to have any more of…those camera…guys…” Bokkun muttered, “We better get going! Your challenge is for each team to set up a film set.”

“Easy challenge,” Omega stated, “Such an easy way to start off the day…does not compute. Bokkun must have something sinister in his mind.”

“Correct, Omega,” Bokkun snickered, “Because as location manager, I want your sets to go…there!” He pointed to the top of a giant nearby hill, which almost looked like the 1,000 foot high cliff from last season.

“You just LOVE doing this to us, don’t you?” Blaze growled.

“Yes, yes I do, Blaze,” Bokkun snickered, taking out a walkie-talkie, “Decoe, Bocoe, are we all clear for traffic up there?” Up on the hill, Decoe and Bocoe simply shrugged and didn’t bother to respond. Not waiting for an answer anyway, Bokkun pointed to the camera equipment and yelled out, “Okay…lights…camera…action!” As soon as he said that, both teams started carrying their supplies up the hill.

Blaze’s team got out to an early lead, but she accidentally stumbled on the way up with one of the camera cords. Knuckles quickly ran over and helped her up, but Silver ended up spotting them instantly.

“What are you two doing together?” he snapped.

“Uh…we’re on the same team,” Blaze said, frowning at Silver. In response, Silver got distracted and tripped as well. However, Blaze watched as Marine ran up and helped him up first.

“And WE’RE on the same team!” Silver snickered, winking back at Blaze and hugging Marine. Slowly, they kept moving forward, with Silver and Blaze both fuming.

“Guys, this is really dysfunctional!” Wave yelled out to her team, “I think we should form a line and hand everything up relay-style so we’ll save more time and not wear ourselves out.”

“If YOU suggest it, we’re not doing it!” Blaze snapped, turning away and running with the rest of the team.

“But…it’s a good idea!” Wave cried, “That’s not fair!”

“I agree with you, Wave!” Charmy said, smiling at her, “Write down all your ideas and you can bring them up at the next team meeting, and I’ll second everything you say, alright?” He giggled and smiled more at her, while Wave smiled and turned away.

“Oh…be quiet,” she said, somewhat playfully. She went back down to get more equipment, leaving Charmy blushing a bit.  

“Hurry up, castmates!” Bokkun laughed, watching them all struggle getting the equipment up the large hill, “It’s a close one, so far!”

“C’mon, lucky necklace!” Silver muttered, rubbing Blaze’s necklace, “Silver needs you to help him out…”

“Wow, and I thought I was crazy!” Cosmo snickered, running by and looking at Silver, “You’re talking to jewelry?”

“You ARE crazy!” Silver retorted, “And I’m just trying to help our team win this thing!” He sniffed and ran past the plant girl.

“Hey, that’s what I’m trying to do, too!” Cosmo yelled back at him, “If you’ve got some lucky earrings, I’d be glad to have a little chat with them, okay?” She laughed insanely and kept up the pressure.

Finally, both teams had gotten all the equipment up the hill. However, all that was left was the small makeup trailer, which was quite large and heavy. They were going to need some muscle to move them.

“How the heck are we going to get those trailers all the way up the hill?” Silver asked, scratching his head.

“I have a great idea!” Marine called out.

Marine: It’s so great to be free from Wave. I can totally contribute more and stuff! I have a lot of unwrapped potential, you know.

“I say we get Big to carry the trailer for us!” Marine went on.

“HE’S NOT HERE ANYMORE!” Silver, Tikal and Cosmo all yelled, getting really annoyed at this point.

“Oh, right…bummer,” Marine moaned, rubbing her head. At that point, Tails’ stomach was grumbling, which caused Silver to look over at him.

“Wait, Tails!” he cried, “You and your weird gadgets; surely you have one that can assist us here, right?”

“Um…okay, sure thing!” Tails cried, rubbing his hands together. He pulled out some kind of backpack and put it on his back. He quickly ran in front of the trailer and the backpack transformed into a small spider-like object, but was still attached to his back. The metal spider arms grabbed the sides of the trailer and Tails pushed another button on the backpack. A small blast of power erupted from the bottom and transformed into a jetpack as well. He started flying up the hill with the trailer, somehow going along quite easily. Silver, Tikal, Cosmo, Marine and Vector all cheered and followed him.

“Tails, Tails, he’s our guy!” Tikal cheered, “If he can’t do it…uh…he’s not our guy!” Cosmo jumped up on top of the trailer and rode on from there.

“Okay…Shadow, go for it,” Knuckles said down on the bottom, “You’re a strong guy.”

“Sorry, don’t feel like it,” Shadow said coldly, turning away, “Besides, the trailer might slide out of my hands and hurt someone…or damage property, and I’m not being held liable for either one.”

“Oh, c’mon, Shadow!” Blaze begged, “We can still win this!”

“Make me, cat!” Shadow snapped, glaring at her, “Why don’t you have that robot do it or that echidna? I’m sure they could do it easy!”

“Yes, but we asked YOU to do it!” Knuckles growled, “If you’re going to be a team player, you do it!”

“I SAID NO!” Shadow roared, “I’M NOT GOING TO DO IT! I’M NOT JUST SOMEONE WHO YOU CAN ORDER AROUND! THAT’S ALL PEOPLE ASK ME TO DO; I’M NOT A SLAVE!” He angrily turned away from them, watching Tails easily get his team up to the top.

“HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS, YOU PUNK WANNABES?” Silver yelled down, grinning at mainly Blaze and Knuckles.

“Okay…that is NOT cool!” Knuckles snapped, putting his hands on his hips, “Shadow…you’re a jerk!” Shadow looked back and did a very rude hand gesture at Knuckles, which almost got Knuckles into a rage.

“And, we have our winners!” Bokkun called out from the top, “Tails wins for the Killer Gaffs!”

“He actually won!” Tikal cried happily, cheering like crazy. Tails giggled and also cheered for himself, but Bokkun wasn’t done.

“Well…not…exactly,” he said, “That was only the first part of the challenge. Did I neglect to mention that?” All the Killer Gaffs looked at one another, then groaned and held their heads. From the bottom, the Screaming Grippers were all making their up without a trailer, and soon, the next part would begin.