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Nothing is impossible to flatten
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How often do you feel like everyone around you just hates you? Secretly hates you? And every time they smile to your face and say sweet things, it's just them being fake. How often do you really want to know what is in their heart? Today, right now, I feel utterly miserable. I was not only forced to change my ponysona into a more 'acceptable' form, but I've also been told that I'm just a horrible, hateful, evil person. Just the other day, I tried to joke with two people that I really adored, only for them to attack me and threaten me and make me take the joke back, even though it was just me teasing them about using them in a story and I hadn't even written a word of it yet, so they were way out of line.

I hate using journals to whine and complain. It feels like all I'm doing is begging for attention, and I hate that. I've preached that these sites shouldn't be used like Twitter, Facebook, and all that. You shouldn't just air your daily lives on these things like they were meant for that. But here I am, doing just that. I'm just...I'm so miserable. And I can't put into words why. I just think...or rather I know...that everyone hates me. And everyone just wants me to leave them alone.

Sure, you can SAY "That's not true!" all you want, but words mean nothing. Actions speak louder than words. I really wish I was a better person, but what you see is what you get. I am who I am, and I'll be damned if I just conform into what everyone wants. I already changed my pony-sona, even though it goes against everything I was wanting him to be, and I already took my joke back, but it never stops. Everywhere I look, there's nothing but more scorn, more fake people, and more lies. Don't lie to me. I can see into most of your hearts what you people really think of me.

I really do hate my life so much. Even as I type this, I want to start crying. In fact, I think I will. Bye for now.

deviantID

Chimcharlover13
Author
Artist | Professional | Literature
United States
Current Residence: Physically, I'm in Missoula, the biggest city in Montana. Mentally, I'm in my dream world.
deviantWEAR sizing preference: I wear large things, even though they don't really fit me.
Print preference: I write very nicely, thank you very much. I can't stand horrible handwriting.
Favourite genre of music: Country music rocks, and I also love Anime soundtracks. Really, anything except rap.
Favourite photographer: Daniel, Karin, Sara and Efren.
Favourite style of art: No favorite really. It doesn't matter how you draw, as long as you draw from your heart.
Operating System: Well, I have a stupid, slow computer, if that's what you mean.
MP3 player of choice: Apple, I guess. I just got one not too long ago.
Shell of choice: Shell is a magic spell in Final Fantasy; did you know that?
Wallpaper of choice: Having some of Tails would be lovely, but any Pokemon would be nice, too.
Skin of choice: I'm not racist; I have no problems with anyone. Still, I like furry skin, like Tails.
Favourite cartoon character: Tails, Sonic, Shadow, Blaze, Rouge, Knuckles, Amy and Meowth.
Personal Quote: Tails is the answer to everything. If there's anything I need, he will provide it for me.
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:iconquantumpinkie:
QuantumPinkie Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch and llama!
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:iconsnivyleaf:
snivyleaf Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015
hello
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:icondisturbeddemons:
DisturbedDemons Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2015  New member
Thanks for the watch! You're awesome!! : )
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(1 Reply)
:iconbeekermaroo777:
BeekerMaroo777 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2015  Student General Artist
Hi there! I updated a theory: beekermaroo777.deviantart.com/…
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(1 Reply)
:iconnzslice:
nzslice Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015  Student General Artist
Cheers for the Watch and Fave! Rainbow Dash Yay Icon 
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(1 Reply)
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